Welcome To my life. Day 5764. Hello my Scandinavian Squirrel Sacks. I've been contemplating religion lately. I mean, it's hard not to in my house. There are crosses everywhere, big ones. In my parents' room there's like a whole display of these Christian figurines. Helen has a similar set only they're fairies. Like the windy bitch that she is. I don't know. They kind of creep me out. That's why I got the Tiny Tragedies - to dispel all those 'good' spirits trying to get in my room and give me nightmares about Carebears and orange blossoms. But God? Hmm.
I want to say that I don't believe. That there can't possibly be a God out there condoning all the bad shit in the world. And it's not like I just blindly follow whatever my Mom tells me. I think the whole Christian thing is retarded. Especially the whole 'forgiveness' aspect of it all. Like, No! Fuck you! You fucked up, deal with it! Why the hell should you be forgiven?! So you can go do it again? Whatever the hell it was that you did? Stupid religion. And all that love thy neighbor crap! What if your neighbor is an asshole?! I'm cursing a lot, aren't I? Mom's been on my case about it all week. I just don't understand why people are so afraid of words. They're just little sounds that come out of our mouths. You'd think I stabbed Helen in the eye or something. Personally I think the more we say them, the less they mean, so by enforcing this domestic censorship, Mom is actually perpetuating the problem. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, God.
The guy to really have this conversation with is Raymond. I mean, it's hard to get him to open up about anything but when it comes to scientific stuff, he won't shut up! And that's what it is, a scientific problem. Raymond will swear that there's no place for God in science. I disagree. To me, the question of whether or not there is a God is simple. Is everything (and I mean everything) by design or is it a complete accident.
Now let's take the 'by design' theory first. This would mean that everything has a purpose. And when you think about it, it kind of does. Everything in nature is pretty busy. We're the only species sitting on our couch, eating potato chips and watching Lost. This would also mean that there is an 'ultimate purpose' to the universe. And see, this is the best part because we don't even have to speculate. It's pretty obvious. We're it! Well not us in particular but life in general. What else could it be? We are the end product of the universe. Now think for a second what it takes for 'life' to exist. This is where the 'accident' theory just kind of crumbles. I've been watching a lot of those Discovery shows, like The Universe (great show) and the more I learn about what it takes for us to hang out here and bitch about life, the less I kind of want to do so.
Let's look at it from an astronomical point of view. For starters we need a sun. That's our power source. Can't do without it. Then we gotta position ourselves in the perfect spot, not too close, not too far, so that it's just the right temperature for life to exist. Then we need a moon. Without that thing, shit would get effed up pretty quickly. A show I watched recently about Jupiter said that even that distant planet was essential to our survival. It blocks meteors and all kinds of space junk from hitting Earth. So you see it's all a very complex network all working to keep our asses farting around. Meanwhile we're over here, hunky-dory, going, "life is an accident". Oh yeah? Look up in the sky some night. Those are a trillion other 'accidents'. What, you're going to tell me our star is the only one with a purpose? Nature doesn't work that way. Every one of those stars has to have a little planet circling around it at just the right distance. It only stands to reason. The universe is hard at work creating life. That is its purpose.
You see, Atheism is a belief too. You believe that everything just kind of happened. With no rhyme or reason. And frankly, when you really think about it, that actually requires more faith to do. In claiming 'accident', you are denying nature in all its repetitive glory. You are assuming, against all scientific probability, that the universe is just one big useless cesspool with us being the only worthwhile activity. That's just a stone's throw away from assuming that we are the center of the universe (as we once did).
So we need to get crackalackin' finding those aliens. Proof of life on other planets would actually prove the existence of God! At the very least it would prove that we're not an accident. And then you have to assume nothing is. I know. I'm a nerd. But these are the things I think about during Home Economics classes.
I might start my own religion one of these days. It would be called 'No Book Or Building'. I've already bought the domain name so don't even think about it. It would basically state that you don't need a Bible or a church to believe in God. God is everywhere. And He doesn't need any worshipping anyway. We have to stop looking at religion as something scary and full of punishment. Religion is simply an acceptance that there is something out there greater than us. And an occasional wink at whoever's watching.
I've been trying to catch up on my zombie viewing but Raymond still won't give up the Watchmen DVD which is screwing up the Netflix flow. But my grapevine extends into many of the nooks and crannies of the horror community and today I bring you a little gem that I think may have some definite cult potential. It's called Eat Me! and it's a zombie stoner flick. Nobody tell Seth Rogen.
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