Friday, August 28, 2009

Band of the Week - Crucifliction

Welcome to my life. Day 5738. Sitting in homeroom, bored out of my mind. Mr. Smelcher is trying to tell us some crap about wandering around after dark and how dangerous it is. Like Goshen High School is all of a sudden the new Downtown Detroit. I'm only vaguely hearing him. My mind keeps wandering to stuff like vampires and rotting corpses and purple fingered salivating dwarfs with dimples and pimples and little packaged samples of raspberry Kool-Aid stapled to their nipples. Does that make me strange? Like I care! I only have one real friend at school. Johnny Melanovich. Everyone calls him Johnny Shotguns cause he walks around in a black trench coat and wears lots of black make-up. I think he's kind of sexy. In a dark, dangerous sort of way. He doesn't have too many friends either. There's not really much of a trench coat mafia in Sugarloaf. He's always trying to make out with me though and I think that's kind of gross. I don't know. Maybe he's not my type. They say opposites attract and we're kind of the same. There's the bell. Gotta go.

STIFF NECK BAND OF THE WEEK This week's Stiff Neck Band of the Week(you get a stiff neck from head banging, get it? It's the best I could come up with. If you have any suggestions, comment away) is Crucifliction. Dan Walton's growling vokills are intense and moody. Their themes are dark and religious and if I could understand what they were saying, I'm sure I'd totally be into it. I'd like to see them do a cover of Crest's Cavity Creeps commercial - "We Make Holes In Teeth!" That would rock out! I plan to wake my sister Helen with some loud Crucifliction one these nights. Like in Back To The Future. It would give her nightmares for months!

Check out a couple of their songs on their Myspace:

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