Friday, October 30, 2009

Book Of Oya - The Conquistadors

Welcome to my life. Day 5800. Ola, Bloated Blowhards. So I'm getting pretty heavily into Witchcraft. I've joined the Witches Of Facebook, run by the brilliant author, Rochelle Moore. Her book, Beyond The Third Eye, has been helping me get through my tragic life. And I'm starting to combine spells from different religions. Mixing and matching. Obviously Herbert Hoviak's You Do Voodoo (copyright 1981) is insufficient on its own.

Thank you all for your kind words after my awful experience yesterday and I assure you I am completely over it. I have forgotten the name Billy Mathews completely. Of course the story has spread all over the school. Some idiot even wrote 'Evil Twin' on a piece of paper and stuck it on my back. I must've worn it for three periods until Johnny Shotguns told me about it. Helen's taken advantage of my misery by flirting with Billy Mathews at every opportunity. She doesn't give a shit about him. She just wants to piss me off. I've never seen her do anything without an ulterior motive.

But I've learned my lesson. Men are pigs. Never let them have your heart. They'll just stomp on it and throw it in the trash. Not that I'm going to become a lesbian or anything. To tell you the truth, I get along even less with girls, I'm just going to treat men as objects. Toys for my amusement. My heart is now closed for business.

It reminds me of something Mom once said to me. It's never really made much sense to me until now. She said, "The biggest choices in life must be made with your heart, not with your head." I guess I've never been confronted with a 'big choice' before. Maybe when I decided to become a Goth. Anyway, this decision is certainly from my heart, which is now black and cold. All my pain, all my hatred is now focused solely on my sister, Helen. She is the cause of everything! The constant source for comparison. The constant reminder of everything that I should be but refuse to be. The embodiment of everything I stand against. She is my mortal enemy. And if I must be the Evil Twin, so be it! Though I'm convinced it is really she that is evil! Fake! I see through you, Helen Baxter. You don't fool me for a second! You are an sly, self-serving snake and I will never trust you! Bitch!

Fine, enough ranting. I stopped by The Freakatorium today and Max tried to cheer me up by giving me another illustration from the Book Of Oya just in time for Halloween. I have to say, it kind of worked. This one is pretty effing awesome. It's a spread so the actual size is like my height lengthwise. It's incredibly detailed. It must have taken the guy like a year to make this thing.

If you're new to Lara's Thoughts, you need to go back in the blog's history to check out more etchings from the book. Apparently there were only 13 copies ever printed and they were all thought to be lost until Max at the Freakatorium got his hands on one. It tells the story of a vampire supposedly captured by the Freemasons.

Basically, the vampire, Oya lived inside this Mayan pyramid in Chichenitza. She was happy chilling there, getting human sacrifices thrown down to her on a regular basis, then one day it all stopped. She was hungry so she climbed out and saw this scene of utter devastation. The Mayans were being massacred by Spanish Conquistadors. So then she got busy, wiping out the entire Spanish Armada. The book says -

"Those who lived to tale, told of a demon unleashed by the Mayans. That may not have been far from the truth."

In other news, Yankees evened up the World Series at one game a piece, so that cheered me up. Mark Texeira and Hideki Matsui hit homers for the Yanks against their old foe, Pedro Martinez who once literally called the Yankees his 'Daddy'. Bad move. Now, every time he shows his face in Yankees Stadium he's greeted with chants of 'Who's Your Daddy?!' Kind of makes my 'Evil Twin' problem seem pretty insignificant. Sorry, Pedro. Looks like the Yankees are still your Daddy.

Anyway, happy Pumpkin Day tomorrow! And remember, don't invite any vampires into your home. They can't enter if you don't invite them.

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