Sunday, October 11, 2009

Columbus Day

Welcome to my life. Day 5781. Greetings my Odiferous Orifices. I'm having a nice relaxing afternoon at home. Looking forward to Columbus Day. That's my other favorite subject at school. History. Christopher Columbus is considered the guy that discovered America in 1492. Though that's not exactly the truth. Actually, Leif Ericson hung out in Nova Scotia for about a year like five hundred years earlier. But he didn't brag about it. Columbus actually set out to find India. Can you imagine? That's like thinking you're at the end of a video game and all of a sudden a whole new board opens up. "Fuck me, who put this continent here?!" "Excuse me", said the continent, "I was here all along. You should have asked that nice Viking fellow about me."

Anyway, here's to old Chris, a true numbnuts in the most traditional sense of the word. Half his peeps were eaten by cannibals, the other half killed each other. Good times. Columbus established the first colonies in America and brought over the European culture that we so enjoy today. Among other things.

Here's to you, Chris. Thanks for finding us!

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