Friday, September 4, 2009

Person of the week to hate - My Sister Helen

Welcome To my life. Day 5745. Is it me? Or is the whole world on crack?! Today I read this article about how in fifty years there's going to be no more fish in the ocean. Well, there'll be fish but it will be illegal to fish for them cause there just won't be enough. I didn't realize fish was so popular. I've never been a big fan myself. But still! It's like that movie The Matrix said, humanity is a virus on the planet. We just consume and destroy. And then we pretend like everything is all rosy. I've gotta say, I'm not happy with the world I'm inheriting. You all have done a shitty job with it. All you do is judge everybody else with your antiquated values, meanwhile the things that really matter get swept under the rug. Oh, I'm speaking to the previous generation. You suck!

Anyway, this week's Person Of The Week to Hate is my sister, Helen. I'm sure she'll dominate this category. Here's a picture of our family from last Christmas.

Helen is the one that looks like she just jumped out of a Norman Rockwell painting. She represents everything that I hate. People who are fake and superficial. Funny thing is she thinks she's going to save the world. Ha! How, by cheerleading your way into the oval office? I guess that's about right. Just look at Sarah Palin. A pretty face will get you pretty far in this world. Me, I don't have that problem. I mean, I'm not an ogre or anything but I don't have boys knocking down my door asking me to the prom. (she does!) You might say I'm jealous of her but that couldn't be further from the truth. Who the hell would want to be the center of attention all the time, anyway?

Oh, did I mention she's my twin? Mom says we were fighting inside her stomach. I don't doubt it. That's probably the main reason I hate her. The fact that she's made me hate my birthday! Every year she has a party with all her stupid friends and I'm basically forced to sit around by myself in the corner. Nightmare!

But the main reason Helen gets Person Of The Week To Hate is because I just got my order from For those of you that don't know it, it's run by this chick, Coral Armour and for a small fee she'll create for you a personalized Tiny Tragedies doll display. Check out this absolutely AWESOME (!!!) display she made for me. It's a depiction of my hate for my sister Helen. It's called Target Practice. This is going right next to my Anne Rice altar.

If you want your own made check out:


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