Lara's Fiendish Fruit Farm

Welcome to my life. Day 5792. Greetings my Exalted Exiles. First of all, I have to brag about the creepy haunted house I just got for my Farmville farm. My farm is now ready for inspection. I christen it, Lara's Fiendish Fruit Farm. There's a cool Plant montster. His name is Fred and he likes Twatlighters. There's also a grave for my sister, Helen. Eventually, my farm will become complete. On that day I will cease to pick my crops and let all of them die. Then it will look truly perfect. The Halloween decorations on Farmville are only available for like another week, so get cracking.

I've also just consulted The Facebook Fortune Teller and found out that love is in the air for next Thursday. Hmm. Consult her yourself if you like:

FACEBOOK FORTUNE TELLER

Also, just heard that Bram Stoker Fest was a roaring sucksess. Here's a review of the festival on my sister bloodsucker site:

TALIESIN MEETS THE VAMPIRE

Stupid Facebook Game of the Year - Farmville!

Welcome to my life. Day 5783. Hello my Quivering Quiches. So I'm totally addicted to Farmville. It's true. My name is Lara and I'm a farmvillaholic. I'm sorry, the game is just so zen. Picking your eggplants and milking your goats; I can see how people could be drawn to a life like that. I've started leaving notes on my neighbors' farms. I've declared myself official Farm Judge. Anyone over level 20 will get judged. If your farm is too commercial, too cluttered or too militarized, you will hear about it. Farmville farm of the month has to go to my Facebook buddy, Helen Grant. She has little themes - one pen has all white sheep except for one black one. Another pen is pink and contains pink cows. A third has a pond with an Ugly Duckling scene. And she still manages to churn out a healthy profit, I'm sure. So, go, Helen! You win despite having the same name as my bitch sister! Wait, maybe you are my bitch sister! You never know with these facebook accounts. I've heard of like old men posing as teenage girls. Sickening.

So become my neighbor at your own peril. My own farm is still a work in progress, so don't bother me at least until I reach level 20. I still haven't expanded. Also, Twatlighters will be shot!

To start your own farm go here:

FARMVILLE