A blah day

Welcome to my life. Day 5803. Greetings my Earnest Emus. So the Yankees lost tonight. What a bummer. Cap'n Jeets grounded into a double play with the tying runs on base and nobody out in the ninth. Double bummer. But we have to be happy about taking two out of three at their stadium. At least now we're out of there. No more 'rally hankies'. What's that about? Looks like the fans are waving a bunch of white surrender flags. And that freaky mascot that looks like a green Big Bird? Lame. Thank God the Yankees don't have a mascot or stupid rally crap. Maybe if they were like black hankies. That would really fuck up the other team. Or maybe we could wave bloody effigies of their mutilated children. Maybe that's going too far. Hey, I've come up with a nickname for our giant, C.C. Sabathia. Black Sabathia. What do you think? And no, it's not cause he's black. It's cause his last name is Sabathia! Get it? Black Sabbath? Oh, forget it. Yankees lead the World Series 3 games to 2.

Stupid Facebook Game of the Year - Farmville!

Welcome to my life. Day 5783. Hello my Quivering Quiches. So I'm totally addicted to Farmville. It's true. My name is Lara and I'm a farmvillaholic. I'm sorry, the game is just so zen. Picking your eggplants and milking your goats; I can see how people could be drawn to a life like that. I've started leaving notes on my neighbors' farms. I've declared myself official Farm Judge. Anyone over level 20 will get judged. If your farm is too commercial, too cluttered or too militarized, you will hear about it. Farmville farm of the month has to go to my Facebook buddy, Helen Grant. She has little themes - one pen has all white sheep except for one black one. Another pen is pink and contains pink cows. A third has a pond with an Ugly Duckling scene. And she still manages to churn out a healthy profit, I'm sure. So, go, Helen! You win despite having the same name as my bitch sister! Wait, maybe you are my bitch sister! You never know with these facebook accounts. I've heard of like old men posing as teenage girls. Sickening.

So become my neighbor at your own peril. My own farm is still a work in progress, so don't bother me at least until I reach level 20. I still haven't expanded. Also, Twatlighters will be shot!

To start your own farm go here:

FARMVILLE